I often think.

  I started at Acrow Engineering in 1974 as an apprentice printer, it wasn’t a great job but I was in the career I hoped would bring big rewards. My foreman, Peter Kirby lived in Loughton which was fairly close to where I did in Upper Clapton, a suburb of London; well he figured, he had to come through that way to get to work. After a few weeks of being in the job he offered to give me a lift to work as he knew my wages, £10 a week, were so poor that the cost of travelling took up most of my wages. Pete had a ‘souped up’ Ford Anglia, an ‘anglebox’, as they were affectionately known. It was bright red and had the mandatory flared wheel arches, patches of Plastic Padding and ‘Carlos Fandango’ wide tyres; the older readers will get that reference. It also had the ‘farty’ exhaust so beloved of the car enthusiast of that time; they had a brand name that I can’t remember. Most of the interior had been stripped out for the weight ratio aspect; Pete had a Recaro seat, the passen...

The other day on opening the downstairs front curtains we were greeted with the sight of a pile of dog pooh slap bang in the middle of our lawn. This is now the third time this has happened. We contemplated putting up a note thanking the considerate owner for their unsolicited and greatly unwanted surprise package.How can a dog owner just allow their animal to defecate on a neighbour’s lawn and just walk off benignly whistling a merry tune? However, then you consider the Village and the blobs of dog mess scattered indiscriminately around the pavements, not just on the verges but smack bang in the middle of the walkways! Every trip to Mrs Minshaw’s shop, our corner shop, involves a ritual of 'eyes down for full house of dog pooh'.  I’m sure local kids must play ‘Dodge the Dog Muck’!   What motivates someone to allow their dog to just pooh and then for the owner to just walk off? Surely at minimum you as the owner just ‘kerb’ the dog so that the poo goes somewhere no one el...

The Piscean horoscope for 2018. It is often said that a fool and his angle grinder soon part with the comfortable sofa of reason. Look sharp on Wednesdays as every lining has a silver cloud but beware of Bay leaves and Brachiopods this Autumn! It often said of the Piscean man or woman that the conundrum of the spirit is the ecstasy of the fool on heat. You should consider the oft said warning of the Piscean that the twice baked cake cantilevers the flapjack of fear. Treat yourself sometime this year to a tea dance as a web chat often cajoles a chaffinch! If you are planning a trip some dampness will delay your departures. It can only be said of you, the flapping fish, that a bedpan and a stranger await your fear of Ravioli. Don't treat life like a bowl of berries in August as a snap decision starts with a finish. Imagine the impact of it on all you meet as you always greet a fool wisely, especially this October. Open your heart to a barcode sometime soon! An idea you had in F...

This is a memory from my junior school days in deepest darkest Hackney, well Stamford Hill to be precise. Do enjoy it and feel free to comment on it. It links to and from The Great Biscuit Scandal of 1964. The children in our class in Junior School all took it in turns to fill the ink wells and sharpen pencils: This was 1964/5, remember ballpoint pens were scarce, expensive and frowned upon by the school. The big gallon can of blue ink and the pencil sharpener were kept in a large walk in store cupboard situated off the back of the classroom. The school provided pens in the shape of the ‘dip and write' types. The type used in films and real life from the last century, or the century before that now. The LCC (London County Council) was caring like that; it provided rubbish pens and pencils for poor people. It came to be my turn to fill the ink wells and sharpen the pencils. I went into the cupboard with the classes blunt pencils and stood sharpening each one in turn. As...