A Nation Of Revolting Shopkeepers

The Nation of Revolting Shopkeepers.

A General Election was called on 12th December 2019 in the wake of constant defeats for the Conservative government. They threw in the towel and admitted defeat in trying to broker an acceptable Brexit deal.

A majority anti-EU government was returned: they were The Guardians Of Brexit party. The 48/52 divide had become 30/70. The Guardians Of Brexit stormed into power; standing with the slogan:

"We'll see off Johnny Foreigner. Vote for The Guardians of Brexit."

They secured a landslide result like Thatcher or Blair many years before them.

The UK population was sick of Brexit and had voted for what they perceived was a decisive government that would secure them a speedy exit from the European Union they so wanted. Many of the first referendum voters had thought the UK was instantly out of the EU the very day after the vote on the 23^rd of June 2016 and resented this election, only the really motivated anti EU voters mobilised themselves to vote this time. Even amongst the Remain camp, voters were becoming really disenchanted with the process and stayed at home. Labour voters voted tactically for other parties and so did many remain Tories.

Within days of the election all foreign lorries were halted at Dover and other ports by sympathetic Port Police and Customs Officers. The Guardians no longer wanted to be dependent on foreign goods and food. All food from now on would be great British fare and nothing else. The lorries were made to u-turn without unloading their goods. It was technically an illegal act, but the Guardians cared little for namby pamby EU driven legalities.

The first act of the new government was to enact the ‘Migrant (Foreign) Workers Expulsion Bill 2019’. It was passed with no opposition, there was no opposition anyway. Opposition parties were immediately disbanded by an Act of Parliament.

Under the Act all foreign worker’s were to be reported or delivered to the authorities for immediate expulsion. It was now a crime to employ anyone other than a UK citizen. The Act was really a sop to please the voters as nearly all the migrants workers had packed up and left anyway: They knew they weren’t welcome in the new Brexit Britain.

Whilst the newly ennobled Lord Nigel Farage GBE, Knight Grand Cross, was being driven to his new residence in Chequers Theresa May and Jeremy Corbyn were being dragged from their constituency homes and hanged from lamp posts by emboldened Brexiteers. The photos of their battered bodies were published on SnapChat, Facebook and Instagram. The Guardians made no comment on that act save for mealy mouthed condemnation of it as an ‘act of the voter exercising their rights’.

In coves and on beaches on the south coast a flotilla of small boats were secretly organising and gathering. The terrified remnants of the official opposition all left the UK on that flotilla. The boats could secretly slip under the north sea radar. When they were landed on the coast of France the politicians scattered across Europe and took up residence in their villas in Spain, Umbria and Switzerland. They announced that it was better to fight from outside the UK now due to the overwhelming government hostility to them.

A few migrant workers were delivered into the hands of the Police, to what fate no one asked, others were dealt with locally. The lynchings of ‘foreigns’ wasn’t actively discouraged, merely tutted at by The Guardians and Brexit Police. There was a strange fruit hanging from the trees in the virulent, active Brexit voting areas.

As all the foreign workers left, or were deported, fields of vegetables were abandoned to rot as there was no-one remaining to harvest them. The only crops being uplifted were by mechanical means, even then the quality suffered because the rotten produce couldn’t be picked out before packing. Packing the vegetables mostly didn’t happen either as all the workers that did those jobs had left Brexit Britain months ago. Farmers worked into the night trying to fulfil orders for the big supermarkets. They often failed. A few farmers saw no future in Brexit Britain, despite voting for it and took their own lives.

As stocks of potatoes and root vegetables became depleted the voters became restless and angry. Walkers crisps closed their factory doors as they had no potatoes to fry. Chip shops closed as they only had fish. The whole UK way of life began to suffer. There was no cake to eat either as the flour had already run out.

Those shocking shortages brought the voters out onto the streets in a tumult of small riots.

Graffiti started to appear on walls, all over the UK.

“WOT? NO WALKERS YOU GOBSHITES?” and “YOU’VE HAD YER CHIPS, NOW GOB OFF!”

The Guardians suspected Remainers to have instigated that campaign, their core voters were more interested in expelling Roma and Gypsies than making political statements.

In light of the sudden reality and insurrection the Guardians hastily formed a rag tag Police Force made up of English Defence League supporters and other house trained thugs. They no longer had a Chief of Police in office as Cressida Dick had been arrested and imprisoned for speaking out against Brexit. Droves of Metropolitan Police officers resigned in protest after her arrest and imprisonment. The Guardians cared little for that futile act; they had the Brexit Police to rely on now.

The Brexit Police were armed by The Guardians ‘to protect the leadership’ was the reason given for this un-British act. They soon started patrolling, strutting, around the streets often just randomly attacking passers by for being a ‘suspected Remainer’.

In amongst all this the Guardians were flailing around trying to anglicise every known thing. There were glaring errors in almost every attempt to do so. It hadn’t occurred to Guardians that tea, that great British staple, was an import, a huge shipment of it was on the lorries turned back at Dover. They rapidly commissioned Brooke Bond to invent an ersatz tea from ingredients that could be only sourced in the UK. They had to keep their voters happy. Brooke Bond tried acorns and Leylandii at first. The former was too coffee like the latter too pine flavoured. Then they settled on seizing all the Camellias in the UK and trying to convert them. It didn’t work. Tea rapidly became a scarce commodity. Quite quickly the sight of tea bags being hung on washing lines to dry out became a common sight. What also rose was the theft of those teabags from washing lines.

Needles to say it didn’t take very long for fake tea to be flown into the UK by smugglers. A few voters died after drinking the fake tea but the market thrived; it filled a vital need.

The new government had a fire in their belly: They were gong to deliver a real Brexit proper and rid the UK of doubters and ne’er do wells.

So to that effect between May 2019 and early 2022 they compiled a list of Remainers; the real enemy. They got most, if not all, the names from Google, Twitter and Facebook; the Anti-Brexit lobby had been vociferous on all those platforms. All three organisations were ordered to supply the names to the Guardians. At first they refused to do so but were persuaded by another tranche of tax breaks. The tax breaks came if they played ball. They did. All the Anti-Brexit posts from 2016 and earlier were analysed by an algorithm; the names of the account holders were gleaned and sold on to the Guardians. The Guardians had also got the names from the polling station returns, the voting slips had been kept in Town Halls all over the country in case the EU disputed the results and sent in an inspection team. Teams of eager Guardian supporters, the GOBS, Guardians of Brexit Supporters. They were a self named group, so named because they spoke up when Britain was being invaded by Workshy Foreigners. The GOBS assiduously matched the voting slips to the registered voter records and compiled a list of the Remain subversives.

On March the 28^th 2022 a list of the subversives was passed to the Brexit Police.

The shops began to run out of food that had a long shelf life and the riots begun again. Because the Guardians had now stopped all imports of foreign food in any form the shops had very quickly ran out of basic foodstuffs.

The voters hadn’t expected the shortages to be so prolonged. They had relied on the Guardians steering the UK back into how it had been before the EU stuck its oars in and its snout in the trough.

Fresh grown vegetables of all sorts, not just potatoes, were amongst the first commodity to go. The UK didn’t have enough growers to supply the huge demand. Salad crops disappeared in a less than a day. The Guardians sagely proposed that farmers could erect poly tunnels to grow salad crops. The farmers protested against that proposition, they couldn’t supply root vegetables fast enough, let alone supply salad crops. Even when the vegetables and other crops were ready for harvesting they had no one to take them in. The Guardians had little idea of how to supply a nation with food. If it meant hardship then so be it; they were delivering the people’s mandate.

The food riots were small patchy affairs in some places and huge running battles in other parts of the country.

The Guardians of Brexit were taken aback by the ferocity of the riots. They were delivering what the people had asked for: autonomy from the EU. What had the people to complain about?

The Guardians immediately instructed the Brexit Police to crush the rioters even if that meant using their weapons. They were delivering the mandate that they had been given by the people. If that meant a painful ride they couldn’t soften that blow.

In one day in July 2021 247 rioters across the UK were shot dead. All were just people trying to get some food from the shops. The Brexit Police showed no discretion or mercy; they shot into the crowds killing men, women and children.

Soon after this atrocity the water shortages started because the foreign owned companies were expelled from the UK soon after the party took power. The Guardians were now in charge of the water companies. They had little idea of how a water company ran. It didn’t take long for standpipes to appear on the streets of the UK. It didn’t take long for the local aquifers to be exhausted as well and the supply of local bottled water dried up. The Guardians then had to ban the brewers from making any beer and negotiated a deal with the Australian brewing industry. It went outside their ethos of everything UK made but Brexit voters liked the beers from Australia. The Australians had stood by us in our hour of need and would stand by us now.

Then the electricity cuts began. The Guardians had expelled all the foreign owners and taken over the energy companies. They had little idea as to how to run an energy provider. Soon electricity supplies were limited to less than 8 hours a day across the UK. All the power generators across the UK were requisitioned by the Guardians for their offices and homes. They, after all, had a job to do.

Then the gas shortages started because the main suppliers and the Russian Gazprom were expelled from the UK. The sale of bottled gas cookers and heaters went up until the supply ran out. Most of them were made in Turkey or the EU so couldn’t be imported. The Guardians wanted a self sufficient nation even if that meant hardship for some.

Then the petrol pumps began to run dry as the foreign imports from Holland ceased to flow. The Guardians had expelled all the foreign owned petrol expediters. The UK could get its oil from the north sea they maintained. They had little idea how to run a petrol company. A litre of unleaded now cost £5; cars were being abandoned on streets and motorways every day.

The Guardians were delivering Brexit as voted for by the British people.

Then the riots really took hold. Thousands of people flooded on to the streets in protest against all the cuts and hardships they were having to endure.

The Brexit Police crushed those riots with a brutality never before seen on UK soil. The Police opened fire at every opportunity. They had the power now. Hundreds died or where badly injured. The hospitals that remained open couldn’t cope. The Guardians condemned the rioters and blamed Anti-Brexiteers and Remainers for inciting the riots. They made no comment on their police force’s conduct.

It wasn’t until March the 30^th 2022 that the mass arrests of Remainers started.

The Guardians blamed the Remainers for stirring up hatred and opposition. They weren’t wrong in that assertion: the Remainers had worked hard at stirring up a backlash against the leave vote. They had a pirate radio station that kept up a dialogue of anti Brexit propaganda. They called it Radio Gob Off. Their main broadcaster was called Roger Remain, he recorded anti- Brexit broadcasts with a different theme every day.

“This is Radio Remain, the Rolls Royce of Remain Radio Stations. Do you remember when we used to drink tea? I do. Do you remember when a nice corned beef sandwich with a bag of crisps used to be an everyday thing? Wouldn’t it be lovely to go back to those days? Is this government the one you thought that you had voted for? I thought not. Rise up and demand that they hand over power to the people who can give you those things back. Become a Remainer, Return the Remainers, you know it makes sense. Sleep tight, Don’t let the Brexit Police bite.”

The Brexit Police tried to shut down the station at every opportunity using ex BBC jamming and tracking equipment. If and when they were found the DJs were hung with the wires that they had used to set up the station. There was no trial, they were just summarily executed by the Brexit Police.

The Brexit Police took on the job of seeking out Remainers with utter relish. They hated the Remain scum. How dare they insist that the UK was better off being fleeced by the corrupt EU. It was all lies, the NHS was 350 million pounds a week better off now. The Guardians told their voters that foreign companies were now withholding drugs and not supplying them to the UK. They insisted too that we manufacture the drugs, good UK made drugs. However as before the Guardians had expelled the foreign drug companies and taken over their operations not long after taking power. They accused the companies of ripping off the NHS and overcharging their voters. They had little idea of how to run a drug supply company, let alone how to make the drugs.

It didn’t take long for fakes to flood the market via China and Romania in air drops at remote areas of the UK. Some planes got shot down by the Police but the monetary rewards were worth the loss of a plane and every pilot’s death to the smugglers.

In time the schools began to close for hours every week as they ran out of materials to teach the children with. Parents were trying to buy books and then eventually relied on electronic means but only if they already owned a computer. The children who couldn’t afford computers fell behind and began to truant. Most of the text books in schools were printed and bought from within the EU. The Guardians had little idea how to supply books and materials to schools. They had expelled the foreign owners of school supply companies. They wanted children to be taught using UK sourced materials and books.

In the new UK the Guardians had no want or need of foreign intervention. They were making the UK self sufficient in every aspect of life.

The Guardians then proposed that all citizens would be issued with a blue passport to bring the nation together again in the Blitz spirit. It was, they persuaded the voters, going to be like in the old days before the EU imposed the red passport on the voters. They didn’t reveal that it would be totally useless as an actual passport as the EU no longer routinely accepted UK citizens for travel. It could take 3 to 6 months to gain a visa to any of the EU countries now; there was also a £500 exit and entry fee to find: The reasoning being that there was no need to travel abroad anymore. The blue passport was more an identity card substitute that the Brexit Police and the Guardians could control the people with. The Guardians had sneaked that aspect in, after all identity cards had been rejected by the UK population years before.

On March the 30^th 2022 the raids and arrests proper started. In one day over 2 thousand Remain voters were arrested and detained. A few hundred or more were shot dead after ‘resisting arrest’. The death toll figures were withheld or not known because who really cared about a dead Remainer?

The Daily Mail started a campaign for the voters to stand shoulder to shoulder with the Brexit Police against the Remainers under the headline: Cowardly Remainers Attack Our Police Again.

The arrested Remain scum were sent to prisons and institutions across the UK to be re-educated in the way of the UK. Some of the Remainers were sent to farms across the UK to become crop pickers and packers; that was to be their re-education. It made no difference whether the arrested were teachers, doctors or university lecturers they all got the same treatment: prison and re-education. The re-education in prisons usually consisted of starvation and beatings; these Remainers could not be allowed back on the streets. There was now no such thing as society.

The arrests continued unabated without stopping to assess or take into account the bulging prison populations.

The scum were off the streets now, that’s all that mattered.

The minority majority had got their wish, they had got their country back.

NB:

No multi national corporations were harmed during the composition of the above story. All facts are a twisted fiction and cannot be corroborated or proved.