I often think.

The Quest for Pluvium                   A fter 2.7 billion galactic years of warring with each other over vital minerals and the depleting supply of Pluvium in the unknown universe, the Venusians and Martians decided that they would join forces and invade a distant black hole called Cambria. Pluvium powered and defined all the civilisation of both the planets, without it both planets would die as their life support systems failed. One grain of Pluvium was as precious as a Venusian princess or prince. Martian prince’s and princesses were a different matter, they were worth a mine of Pluvium. No one knows why this difference persisted. Perhaps it was because Martian Prince's and Princesses had multiple breeding orifices unlike regular Martians who had to apply to the government to breed and install an orifice. The spoils of this grand invasion would be shared equally between the two planets. They hoped that the other would stick to this com...

In Chequers Lord Nigel Farage Sometime of Downe and Windsor Lit up yet another Rothman’s fag (He had another ten thousand in his diplomatic bag) Swigged on his great British pint And looked out on his bucolic view Then he loudly let out a ‘PHEW’ But what he was really thinking ‘Look where peculating has got you’ He fiddled with old school tie Striped black and royal blue Smugly smoothed it down Rested back in his dining chair Meshed his fingers across His beer filled belly Smiled a gleeful smile Then shook his head In total astonishment Leaning forward to the banquet table Laid out before him He jabbed a polished silver fork Into his great British Steak and kidney pie Bit on a hot salty chip Licked his upper lip Then jubilantly looked Back out at the view Taking another drag On his Rothman’s fag Stubbing it out Coughed a bit Then another fag he lit Musing on his British made pie Impaled a piece of steak With his silver fork Pushed the meat into his m...