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Lord Farage


In Chequers Lord Nigel Farage
Sometime of Downe and Windsor
Lit up yet another Rothman’s fag
(He had another ten thousand in his diplomatic bag)
Swigged on his great British pint
And looked out on his bucolic view
Then he loudly let out a ‘PHEW’
But what he was really thinking
‘Look where peculating has got you’
He fiddled with old school tie
Striped black and royal blue
Smugly smoothed it down
Rested back in his dining chair
Meshed his fingers across
His beer filled belly
Smiled a gleeful smile
Then shook his head
In total astonishment
Leaning forward to the banquet table
Laid out before him
He jabbed a polished silver fork
Into his great British
Steak and kidney pie
Bit on a hot salty chip
Licked his upper lip
Then jubilantly looked
Back out at the view
Taking another drag
On his Rothman’s fag
Stubbing it out
Coughed a bit
Then another fag he lit
Musing on his British made pie
Impaled a piece of steak
With his silver fork
Pushed the meat into his mouth
And on it slowly masticated
Solicitously he was absorbed
Musing on all things
He’d done and said
‘Crikey Widders, look at what we’ve achieved’
He suddenly said out loud
Coughed and laughed
Took a swig of great British beer
A bite of British pie
Laughed and coughed
Then lit another fag.

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