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Poverty and State Benefits, the slow death.

It is an odd feeling slowly being strangulated by poverty. 
Our savings have run out, the Nationwide refused to negotiate with us to reduce the amount of mortgage payment we made. They insisted on taking the full amount every month. We begged them to reduce it to interest only; they eventually did, but far too late. Our savings evaporated pretty quickly.
They now receive payment from the government via the SMI, Support For Mortgage Interest scheme; you the taxpayer are picking up 'our' bill now. Had they negotiated earlier and been less aggressive we would still be paying the mortgage with our money and not yours. Their refusal has meant that you all help us with our repayments now.
Slowly we had to economise on food. Going out stopped. Newspapers are to stop soon. £4 a week is a lot on money now. 
Buying music stopped early on. I did without things to buy my last cd; PiLs new one. Theatre and cinema died very early on; as did our views on them. Now we only use the car to shop. Aldi and reduced food are our means of eating well. And before you start to defend Aldi, there are some great bargains to be had there. We couldn't do without it.
My point is that you slowly become parted from the world that a lot of people have and you had, once. We have no holidays  planned now or ones we are likely to take in the near future; we have no future, to quote my hero John Lydon. You feel slightly resentful that others can take holidays. The conversation at the barbers has no topic so that is a blessing in itself. That will go soon too. £5 is a lot of money now.
Every month that ends you feverishly check that all the bills are going to be met and that your benefits have been paid. You turn off lights at every opportunity, you don't replace blown bulbs, you use as little power as is possible. 
A hole in a shirt sleeve or blouse is a disaster. The knee of my 'best' jeans split; that caused me distress. We have no money to replace them, yet. We'll do without to do so. 
Despite popular belief benefits don't replace an income; they allow you to barely survive. The fall in self worth and belief are not compensated for.  Neither is the psychological toll that is taken on you every day you remain workless.
'We'll do without' has become our motto.

Comments

  1. I'm totally with you on this. Hubbie hasn't worked for 5 years now. The media tell us that mortgage companies are sympathetic and want to help - we have not found this to be the case AT ALL. They were very quick to jump with some pretty nasty threats when we slipped just a small amount in arrears. We have been fortunate enough to receive help from family and friends but that won't last forever. My husband applies for countless jobs every day and rarely hears back - he feels like he's on the scrap heap at 56. I live in hope that my books hit the big time and we can start to lead normal lives again! I wish you well and hope that things turn for you :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. We are the same age! I don't expect to work again either. I am 56 in a few days. Our company issue veiled threats at each negotiation with them. They remain unhelpful and with no understanding.

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